wonderful or ""wonderful""?

Loi... Loi Krathong! (fuck.....)

2006-11-05T18:18:00.000-08:00

Last night (the 5th of November) I went to Saphan Taksin in the bank of Chao Phraya river to celebrate the Loi Krathong festival. The festival is held annually in novembers when there's full moon, and the purpose is to express our gratitude toward the river god. People will float their offerings which are made of banana leaf, and decorated with flowers, candle, and incense. The legend says that if the fire of the candle stays burning until it disappears in the distance instead of blown away by the wind, your wish will come true. Silly, but I believe in stuffs like that.

Frankly, the main reason why I went there wasn't to give offerings whatsoever. What make me interested was my thai teacher's story that Thai people don't celebrate valentine day, so they substitute it with the Loi Krathong Festival. I heard that it's quite easy to find girls and men (I prefer mature men to boys) there, and considering that I still don't have a Thai girlfriend (or a Thai boyfriend), I was convinced that it would be easy to find one. Okay, last night, there were lots of macho, fit, and good looking men, but there were no cute girls!!!!!

I can enjoy the art of both male's and female's body. You can say I'm a bisexual but I still tend to be straight (according to a test, I'm only 40% gay, so I'm still 60% straight). Therefore, when I lit my candle, I pray that I'll meet a girl of my type who wants to be my girlfriend. Carefully, I float my offerings, and.. FUCK! The current of the river caught my offerings and it drowned. For sure, the river god rejected my wish.....

I dunno whether the legend is true or not, but what I don't understand was the fact that that night, I didn't meet any girl that I like....

Ahhh.... fuck!

monsoon shit!

2006-09-18T02:32:00.000-07:00

Rainy season has come. Too bad I'm a male, so I think it's not good for me to use umbrella. It's just not macho. Therefore, in season like this, where it's raining cats and dogs everyday, I have to make a choice, either to be wet by walking in the rain without anything to protect me, or to stay at school until the rain is over. (I usually choose the second...) That's why, here I am, sitting in front of a school's computer, posting a blog, and listening to a song by Yann Tiersen, titled "Monochrome". Perfect, innit? Oh, another thing: I'm hungry because I can't go anywhere to get food. SHIT!
While I'm writing this, I'm pretty sure that the rain has become a thunderstorm. I hope they wash away air pollution covering the entire Bangkok, cuz I hate air pollution so much. I look out through the window and (oh, fuck!) that the school's football field has been flooded by rain water. I don't care, though. I never play football. I just felt sorry for my friends - they have no field anymore to play.
AAhhhh... FUCK!
I wanna go home!
did I know that rain would come, I would ask my driver (yeah, I have one) to wait for me.
fine then... I'd better wait....
sorry for the language, guys!
I know I'm a crap. I just know it.

me and food

2006-08-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

Thinking about my releationship with food is nauseating. True. It's pathethic. From the last three years, I've gained no less than 20 Kilograms. Thanks to big amounts of Haagen Dasz, Steaks, Kebabs, and of course, Big Macs. Being stuffed with fats from chows I've eaten is not a nice thing. True!
One day, I was going to a park with my pals. Poeple were cycling, jogging, or paddling boats. Half sleepy, I looked aroud. Suddenly I saw someONE. A caucasian. He was jogging bare chested, showing his six-pack abs and strong chest - a perfectly weel-build body. He was simply FIT!!!! (Don't ask whether I was aroused or not. My sexual orientation will be another subject for me to write)
From that day till now, I realized something. I am a boy who is too fat, eat too much unhealthy food, hate sport, and not fit.
I feel like a crap, as always.
I blame food for my shitty condition!
But, food here just make my mouth watering. Each of them. What else can you expect from Bangkok?
Ironically, I'm enjoying a Big Mac while writing this blog.
Ah, whatever!

I'm HOMESICK!

2006-08-08T04:56:00.000-07:00

Sweating, I am sitting alone in my living room. The sun had set but there's still some shine out there. Fuck! the color of the sky this evening is just great, its greyish blue is the same with my feeling today. I feel like I'm lost in this crowded, highly populated city. I'm being intimidated by everything in this city: Its luxury, its beauty.... . I can hear 'em laughing to me. the wind that I usually love turns against me. It blows away papers I put on the table.... Fuck! FUCK! And when I need them to cool me down, it just stops. Fucking shit!

OKAY! I'm homesick. Go on, laugh to me! Laugh to me as you're watching me crying! I fed up with this urban area!!! I need PEACE! and I only found it in countryside. HEI! destroy those cars!! they are making pollutions and you don't stop using it! Well, I'm using electric trains, but I don't want it! Gimme bicycle! Okay. Sorry. (sighing). I start to be silly. If I use bicycle in this city, I'll be dead no more than 2hours. Why? Obvious. Carbon monoxide. HEI! turn off those lamps!!!! They're too much!!! if it's night, then let it be night! See? there's no star in the sky! It's the result of those over lighting

I can't breathe. I'm strangled by the heat. my shirt's wet already. I have to pay a lot for turning the air conditioner on everyday to keep the temperature inside my room at least 22 centigrade. A stupid thing you never even think about when you're living in a plateau, surrounded by 3 georgeous mountain.

*p.s.
Is the feeling when you had PMS same with the feeling when you miss something (or someone?)

bean sprouts

2006-08-01T21:24:00.000-07:00

My free times this week was taken away by tiny little bean sprouts. Because the new awful curriculum forced students to be more proactive, quick-witted, integrated, blah blah blah... (my ass). Okay, the main point was that for making each student understand clearly about plant's growth, each of us had to make an experiment. God gracious.
Okay... I quickly chose to make an experiment to know the effect of detergent on bean sprouts's growth. Why? Coz I presumed that it would be simple. So... my plan was perfected, my stuffs had been prepared... and I started the experiment.
I KNEW eversince I saw those beans that this project would take much time. And, yes, it happened. Every morning at 6, I have to measure the growth of 40 bean sprouts..... in milimeters. It had to be precise.... I didn't care anyway... That process took an hour. At 7 I had to take a shower as quick as possible since I would have been late by 30 minutes. Yes, of course I came late cuz I never be able to take a shower quickly. For 4 days I always said, "I know I'm late.... I'm so sorry..." and one of the teacher would answer, "Yes, you will be..." cuz I usually come late in his classes....
Okay... that's not all. I had to water them everytime the humidity decreasing... I have to keep them away from heat but at the same time I had to give them enough sunshine......
ENOUGH! no, it's not. I had to take some photos every 12 hours.... I had to do this ... I had to do that.... I even had to measure them while eating so that I wouldn't be too late....
Thank God, today is the last day. Nay, it's not finished yet. I have to make a nicw, complete presentation, showing the graphic of beansprout's growth, their pics, analysis, etc...etc. Hahahaha.... and I still have to finish other tasks... including another chemistry experiment....
Gosh....

summary of this week

2006-07-28T18:59:00.000-07:00

World: F*CKING CRAP!!!
What the heck???? Tsunamis (not only a tsunami) had been attacking my homeland this week. Also, there were earthquakes all around my country. Why didn't it happened in Israel so that they stop attacking other countries?????? after palestina, now it's libanon's turn. F*ck!. UN! do something.... When iran was trying to build nuclear facilities, you acted. How can you just be silent when israel attacked libanon and palestina..... People are dying....
okay, I know politic is all BS... but I do care about human rights.....
and ISRAEL is doing a massal assasination!
is that for pleasure???????
stop that, b*tch! They're suffering!!!!! When will you OPEN YOUR EYES???? no! the right one is: do you even have eyes to see??? and heart to feel???
I know you have brain.... a very good one..... If not. you wouldn't be able to control UN's security council, eh?

School:
better than last week but still exhausting
monday: homework. SH*T. I became tanner (okay, it's better to describe it as: blacker). My team won the game so my skin problems didn't really matter. I'm not a metrosexual anyway.
tuesday: what else to be expected? more homework, of course
wednesday: for sure.... even more homework. My chemistry experiment didn't work as I wished.. all my calculations messed up because in that experiment, my distilled water freezed at 2 centigrade. It has to be 0 centigrade!!!!! everything in the data were irrelevant.
Thursday: OOOhhh... calculus! I love it!!!! I don't care if my teacher gave me lotta homework....
Friday:ahahaha!! finally! OOOops! I almost forgot that I have to translate a 98-pages poem from old indonesian to English.... I didn't even understand its meaning... how could I translate it??? OKAY. As a comparison: Are british students able to translate 98-pages old english poem to modern french??? I bet they can only finish 17 pages in a week. Just like my case.
Saturday: gave up with the translating stuffs. I'd finished 18 pages. Time for doing my biology experiment.... "The Effects of Pollution to Beansprout's Growth" LOL. crap title.... beansprout.....

My school this week

2006-07-21T05:53:00.000-07:00

I go to school on Mondays till Fridays... And today is Friday. So tomorrow and the day after it are holiday... Yaaaay!!
Anyway, let's cut to the chase!
Monday: I didn't go to school cuz I had to accompany some guests (My dad's friends). We went to Pattaya, eat some durians, dinner in a restaurant on top of a skyscraper in Bangkok (which was great!).
Tuesday: I went to school, but we still didn't learn anything except English... A nice class, as usual.... After finished with the class, we played cards for.... errr..... 6 hours maybe??? Well, I'm not sure about the exact time, but after that we ate ice cream together. A nice closing.
Wednesday: My classes started to be normal (it means, we started to have lots of homeworks again). SUCKS!
Thursday: You bet, more homework.... I finished 3 homeworks in Starbucks. Anyway, I found that actually the nicest place to finish homework is Starbucks. The reason is very simple: there are lots of people around me..... (I think I haven't told y'all that I love studying in crowded places....
Friday: Too much sport: badminton & volleyball. I became terribly dehydrated that I could finish a litre of green tea after it... I was really exhausted....
OVERALL, this week SUCKS!!!!
In fact, this week become WORSE after I knew that I had to go to the Embassy on Saturday and Sunday to DO MORE SPORTS!!!! Shoot! They take my precious resting time of the week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where is justice????????

School again...

2006-07-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

Ahh... after a month of holiday which felt like in heaven, I have to face the fact that I have to study again. NOt that I hate studying (In fact, studying is my hobby), it's just the new curriculum that disturbing me.
Right now, the curriculum that is applied in Indonesia is the competence based curriculum. The criteria of the books suitable for that curriculum are those that describe topics extemely detailled. The result: book become thicker, heavier, and more expensive. Okay, I don't care about the price cuz it's my parent's duty to buy me the books. What I CArE is that my physics book - which used to be only 150 pages - become 600 pages. Bloody hell... Imagine I have to remember EVERY formulas contained in that f***ing book in a single night before my final exams...
BOOKs like that are DANGEROUS!!! Seeing them for only 5 seconds will definitely make you feel nauseous. Yesterday I was seeing my big thick biology book and I started laughing out loud. It just happened when my mum entered my room. Looking at me with a worried expression, she asked me wheter I was okay. Of course I'm not okay....
Those books and curriculums R killing me slowly!!!!!!
The last thing I want in this world is that I am killed by depression.....
OMG!!!

Home...

2006-07-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

I finally realize. ONLY there I felt the real happiness. It was kinda utopia. A society where everything were very different with the hideous world I knew so long. Yeah... I was going home for 3 weeks. I went to Malang, Jember, and Bondowoso. It was.... different, as I told you previously.

There, among my bestfriend, my siblings and their friends, I could ENJOY MY LIFE for the very first time. I COULD BE MYSELF!!! I could laugh freely!!! I could speak my own language as rude as I want and they just laugh WITH me, cuz my accent was kinda strange. It was great. Thank God.

I smoked (once and never again! (maybe...) it tasted awful and I became sick the next day). I met new people (and all were very inspiring.). I climbed two volcanoes (and I was attacked by sulphur gas.). I had done everything I dreamed!!!!!!

And now I have to go back to the world I know just as all happines I felt were all dream. OK.... I'll wait until I have another chance to go home again.

"Rek.... Mbak, Mas.... (dan temen2 kakakku smua)... Terima kasih telah membuat liburan kali ini menjadi liburan ,yang tak terlupakan.... liburan tergila yang pernah kualami..... pertama kalinya aku bisa berekspresi menjadi diriku sendiri...... Terima kasih... aku gak bisa bilang apa2 lagi. Bwat Rijkee dkk, seperti kalimat yang kita teriakkan di malam terakhirku di malang dengan sangat lantang.... jangan pernah lupa.... : "SELAMANYA KITA SAHABAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!" (kita gila banget ya??? pasti dikira orang gila...) ketemu lagi tahun depan ya.....

no house no cars or even money will make me feel the same thing I felt when I was among y'all.....